Being a mom and resident physician (and human) comes with stress.
Stress is a normal part of life and can be good for us – a term called eustress. For instance, a tough workout puts physical stress on the body, which helps it adapt and improve.
According to Psychology Today, eustress “is a positive form of stress that benefits health, motivation, performance, and emotional well-being.” I’ve tried to take advantage of eustress by embracing being outside of my comfort zone.
During my emergency department shift this past weekend, I got to do my first paracentesis. Inserting a long needle inside someone’s abdomen is outside of my comfort zone. However, I had expert guidance from an emergency physician, and the patient was lovely.
This is the sweet spot of eustress – feeling somewhat uncomfortable while faced with a doable challenge (and feeling supported!) The problem arises when we’re pushed well outside of our comfort zones.
This can cause the negative version of eustress – distress.
When I’m feeling distressed or overwhelmed, I have a few things I try to help me get my feet back under me. I thought I would share them here.
1. Take a deep breath
Simple but underrated.
Breathe in for four, pause for four, breathe out for four.
Repeat.
2. Talk to someone about your feelings
I have a tendency towards pretending everything’s fine. But I want to build more robust relationships with my close family and friends, and this requires some vulnerability.
Bottling up all your feelings can make them harder to manage. If you have people you trust in your life, see how you feel after you share your worries with them.
I also highly recommend speaking with someone who’s trained in how to help people cope with stress, like a psychotherapist or counsellor. They may have valuable insights you can use to turn distress into eustress.
3. Remind yourself that you can do hard things
The most timely book I read after giving birth to my son was Can’t Hurt Me by David Goggins. It put my situation into perspective, and highlighted the human capacity for resilience.
In order to accomplish seemingly impossible feats, the author writes about reminding himself about all the hard things he’s done in his life. When I’m feeling overwhelmed, it helps me to think of all the challenges I’ve been able to get through.
4. Sit with it
Even when I’m feeling stressed out, there’s a little part of me that’s curious about the wide range of emotions that I’m capable of experiencing.
Like I wrote in this post, I’ve been trying to be more mindful in my daily life. One of the ways I try to do this is to accept my current state of mind, and to sit with the stressful feeling. It sucks, but it also helps sometimes.
5. Take a power nap
I took a 15-minute nap today, and it’s amazing how much calmer I feel now. Sometimes my brain just needs a little reset.
6. If all else fails, distract yourself!
Distraction isn’t my go-to for managing my emotional state. I want to be able to cope with my negative emotions, rather than try not to feel them.
But when I’ve tried all of the above and I need a break, I use distraction.
My go-to distractions are:
Playing video games
Going for a walk outside
Cleaning something
Texting a loved one
Sorting through my emails (if I want to be bored rather than stressed)
Reading
Writing
Finding something that makes me laugh (I don’t know why, but this video does it every time)
I hope this helps anyone who needs a moment to themselves. Comment below if you have anything that works for you!
Stay well friends,
Dr. Kuhnow
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